Epic conclusion to a so-so essay

I'm just finishing up my Yale DMA Application (which is due in, oh, three hours), and I had to upload an example of "scholarly writing." I decided to go with a paper that was my final for a very interesting BoCo grad. seminar on the history of the Mass. In the essay, I broadly trace the way composers and audiences have treated the famous liturgy through the years. The essay itself isn't anything special, but, in rereading it, I think the concluding paragraph might be. It could also be corny. You decide.

Our human evolution—spiritually, artistically, intellectually—is a continuum in which small changes, accumulating through time, thrust up to irrevocably change the world we experience. There are few, if any, artistic traditions that survive as true to their original form as the setting of the Mass to music, for even in denying its ancient format we are reacting to its lineage. Just as our art has grown exponentially richer and more diverse through millennia, our concepts of religion and tradition have constantly changed, revolved, bifurcated, reconstituted, and reappeared in infinitely engaging and exciting ways. Our world is vastly more secular than that of the early Christians, but we still have the same questions in need of answers. The Ordinary of the Catholic Mass, fundamentally unchanged since its formation, is the perfect chronicle of our ever-expanding, ever-enriching, ever-evolving human experience.